Heart
Oh God what it is to be alive.
The sheer intensity of it all.
Do you think if we were supposed to live in absolute kindness that we would actually be equipped with the innate ability to view everything from a humble perspective?
To know when to give to ourselves and when to others. When this is sumultaneously possible, and when it is exlusive?
It's wild what selfishness does to your soul. It eats away at it far more than anything else can.
But sometimes it's so difficult to tell the difference between what we want and what we need. Things may feel like a need, something you feel you cannot survive without, but in actual fact it is purely a want. A selfish desire that you have indulged under the guise of necessity.
Something that will burn into the furthest dark corners of your fragile beating heart. Until one day you find yourself shaky in your bed, clammy palms, fighting against all desires to run. And when you have done running, run a little further.
Maybe this is the whole quest of life though. The constant, relentless struggle to understand what is right. To never ever give in.
I don't know, sometimes being strong is just so tiring.
Sometimes living with perpetual forgiveness makes you feel like your heart is leaking all of its love out, leaving none for the thoughts in your own head.
Maybe that's why they invented God.
I suppose in the end, this too shall pass. Or whatever it is that they say.
I hope so anyway.
xx